Lenten Reflection

Ash Wednesday is a very busy day in our parish.  With nine masses and prayer services in the course of the day, our presiders and ministers are in contact with hundreds, even thousands of people.  Every year, I am deeply touched by the human connection that we make as we use the ashes to mark foreheads with the sign of the cross. Some respond “Amen,” others say “thanks” and many simply stay silent.

This year, as I met with a line of children, I repeated a familiar blessing phrase, recalling for them the importance of following the example of Jesus in loving others.   One eight –year old boy stopped me short.  As I marked his forehead, he looked at me and said in earnest,

“But I don’t know how to do that!”

 

I stopped the ritual for some moments, and talked with him briefly about what this could mean for him, and what he could do, and asked him if he thought he could do it, and he nodded and said, “I think so.”

Afterwards, I thought how that boy represents so many children and youth we come in contact with, who simply haven’t been taught the social and life skills they need to grow into healthy adults.  We assume that if we say something once, that the young person should remember it, understand it, and practice it.  But studies of child and adolescent development show that is not how it happens, that we adults need to regularly teach and remind young people of what is expected of them, particularly when encountering new situations.

In these days of reflection, I am grateful for the adults in this community — parents, educators, social workers, probation officers, youth workers, and so many others – who know that it is our adult responsibility to carefully teach our children and youth the behaviors expected of them, rather than punish them for what they do not know. 

I am especially grateful for the children and youth, like the boy on Ash Wednesday, who remind me in many ways of my responsibility to them.  They are helping me become a better person.

Angie Kolacinski,SOH Pastoral Associate, Youth Minister